I’m a mum. You think that after nearly 20 months that would feel less weird. I think of mums being amazing women, like my mum, grandma and sister but not me. I don’t look in the mirror and automatically see a mum looking back at me. Motherhood was always something that I thought I could leave it if need be, that I’d have kids if my husband wanted them.
That changed when I got married. I really wanted to be a mum. When we were trying for Sam, the desire became overwhelming.
On the other hand, growing up, I always wanted to be a photographer. It’s the only career I ever remember actually wanting.
I started Photography by Kate before Sam was even a thought and running this business has become important to me. Even if it isn’t where I want it to be, I can’t imagine life without it.
I am at this stage in my life where I have two consuming parts of my life and I don’t want to compromise on either. You hear stories about business owners making sacrifices for their business. I don’t want that. I made some sacrifices earlier when I definitely didn’t exercise as much as should and I’m not going to do that again.
Photography has always been a part of who I am and now motherhood is part of who I am too. I believe that they can live in harmony.
Sam woke up upset last night around 9pm. That’s out of character for him. As I comforted my poor crying child, I realised that this will be the only time in his life where holding him can make the rest of the world disappear, where his only concern in his life is mumma holding him and making the pain go away. Can I really choose something else over that?
Self care is really important and for me photography is one way that I care for myself. A night where Jeff puts Sam to bed while I do a photo shoot is good for everyone. Doing business stuff when I can around Sam is doable. I chose to become a mum so that needs to come first but it doesn’t mean that I ignore who I am and what I feel called to do.
Is there parts of you life that need to balance each other?